How I was Murdered by a Fox Monster Page 11

  Itsuki walked into the kitchen half an hour later to find me still staring at the card in awe. I turned it back and forth in the morning sunlight while searching for any hidden secrets.

  “Did Shiki leave already?” He yawned as he placed bread into the toaster.

  “That guy was so cool,” I muttered. I got up and looked through the window, but he was already gone. It's too bad that Shiki didn't stick around, he was a useful ally who could have protected us when the fox monster attacked.

  Chapter 15

  I had taken to carrying Shiki's card around to help motivate me with my training. It was also a good reminder of the promise I made to Itsuki about becoming an awesome exorcist. I felt like I should have been more loyal to Akito (because he was my teacher and spent his free time trying to force stuff into my head) but Shiki never attempted to kill me.

  School was a lot more exciting once Itsuki was my friend. Keira would often join us, but in that situation we couldn't talk about exorcist stuff. I got to learn a lot more about Itsuki and Mana that way, and I found out they'd been friends since elementary school. I had plans to invite them all over to my house, mainly so that I could introduce Mana to her future in-laws, but we all know that won't be possible anymore.

  I had to tone down the incident with the wolves when I told Sis. If I had told her the truth she would have pulled me out of school and made us all leave town. Luckily I broke it to her when she was doing chores, and obviously distracted by how much powder she needed to put in the washing machine. I know that I often complain about Sis, but she was my best friend. I could tell her almost anything, but obviously not the stuff which was going to get me into trouble.

  I told her about school and the girl I liked in my class. I told her about my rival for love, Itsuki, and how he was better at school, exorcising, and how I would never stand a chance of gaining the affections of Mana.

  In return she usually told me about the horrible deaths her brother's friends suffered in an attempt to make me quit exorcising.

  “And then there was Maasa who used to go on BBQs with us every summer. He thought he could take on a pry-mantas Obake single-handed. All they managed to recover was a hand,” she said while happily pulling clothes out of the drier.

  I felt the blood run from my face. I stared at the apple in my hand (which I suddenly didn't want to eat anymore) and placed it neatly back in the fruit bowl. I decided to change the subject before she began recounting more gruesome stories.

  “Hey Sis, I know this girl there who kind of looks like you,” I said. “Maybe you've met her before. Her name is Nina.” I've been thinking a lot about her recently, and I always meant to tell Sis that I found someone who looked just like her.

  “Nina, huh,” my sister said. “I think I remember one of my aunts having a child with that name. Is her last name Ueda?”

  “I think so,” I remember seeing Ueda stitched onto her school uniform,

  “She's probably a cousin of mine, my mother had a sister who married a guy called Ueda.”

  Sis didn't talk much about her mother. Grandpa and Grandma separated while Sis was in high school. After Grandpa died, Grandma used the money from his will to move to Europe. We still received postcards occasionally. Personally I thought the money from Grandpa could have been used for better purposes, mainly me.

  “Lots of exorcists are related in one way or another, so it's not odd that we look alike,” she added. “I used to go over there all the time before my brother died. Those kids that you hang around with now, I probably knew their parents or older siblings.”

  “So you used to go over there a lot right?”

  It reminded me of the conversation I had with Shiki. I spent most of the evening mulling over how to best ask Sis without getting him into trouble. I was certain I had it down to the perfect wording which would not cause suspicion.

  “So Sis,” I said while leaning over the couch and attempting to appear casual. “You and Akito, was there ever any, you know, action going on between you in the past?”

  Sis instantly dropped her basket of laundry in the middle of the floor. Clothes flew everywhere.

  “Who told you that!” She screamed. “It was Akito wasn't it, I'm going to wring his scrawny little-”

  “No no, calm down Sis. It wasn't Akito, he didn't say anything!”

  “Alright then, who was it? Who told you? Have you been snooping around? Was it Shiki Moriyama?”

  “No, no. It wasn't Shiki,” I said while waving my arms in the air much like Shiki had done a few days before. “It's just that you, and Akito. I sense this chemistry between you, which could stem from an unresolved relationship in your past,” despite making it all up off the top of my head it sounded pretty smart to me.

  “It was Shiki wasn't it. That greasy little playboy never knew how to keep his trap shut!”

  “No, no, please forget I said anything!”

  Shiki seemed like a cool guy and I felt bad for selling him out. I was hoping he would teach me some cool new exorcist tricks which he couldn't do if he was dead. I began to help pick the laundry up, but when I turned around Sis was already at the table writing out charms.

  “Yes, let's see how he fares with women once I burn his eyebrows off,” she said dangerously as the brush glided across the paper. “No, I should just take a patch out of the middle, let's see what the Shiki chop can do against that,” she then began manically laughing.

  I felt terror run down my spine, and I wasn't certain if the woman before me was even my sister anymore. She seemed a lot happier when she was planning Shiki Moriyama's downfall.

  “Hey, hey Sis?” I asked nervously, but she was too consumed in revenge to respond.

  I decided it was time to escape. I didn't want to know what other terrible plans she had in mind for my new idol. I felt bad for Shiki (and his eyebrows) but it was already too late and there was nothing I could do. I was halfway up the stairs when Sis called out to me.

  “Dai-chan!” She yelled from the kitchen. “I suppose I should just tell you the truth before your imagination runs wild and you start making up ridiculous stories!”

  “Ridiculous stories,” I scoffed. “Since when do I make up ridiculous stories?”

  I returned to the kitchen and watched Sis place the charm neatly on the refrigerator and return to folding the laundry. I sat there waiting in anticipation for at least a minute before Sis opened her mouth.

  “Akito and I were originally arranged to get married,” she said.

  “Really? You and Akito?”

  I tried to imagine coming down to breakfast every morning to see Akito sitting at the table. Akito going with us on vacation. Akito helping me with my homework. Akito probably forcing me to study every day. Actually it was pretty horrible to imagine and I had to stop myself.

  “My mother arranged it when we were kids,” Sis continued. “Women weren't allowed to be exorcists back then, so my job as the daughter in an exorcist family was to help join them to another family and mass produce sons.”

  “That sucks. So why didn't it happen?”

  “Because I met a guy I liked in high school.”

  “I see, it must have been Shuro right?” I could see no other reason why Sis would go against such an important marriage.

  “No Keigo.”

  Keigo, I'd never heard of any guy called Keigo before. “Keigo? Who is this Keigo person?” I asked.

  “My boyfriend in high school, he was tall and strong, and had a tattoo,” she began to do that thing girls in my class did when they were fantasizing about the guy they liked. “ He took me to the beach one summer on his motorcycle and everything.”

  I screwed up my face in disgust. “He sounds like a gang member Sis.”

  “No he wasn't, but then again,” she looked like she was contemplating it. “Anyway, Akito didn't seem like a bad guy, but I suddenly didn't want to get married to someone I didn't like. I told my parents that I didn't want to do it anymore, which was a bad idea. It caused a huge upr
oar. I couldn't convince anyone to take my side, so we ran away together until the police found us.”

  “And that's when the arranged marriage broke off?”

  “No, eventually I gave in and decided to do what everyone wanted.”

  “What did you do to end it?”

  “I tried everything I could and failed, but after my brother died my family began to fall apart. My father decided to break away from the exorcists and my parents separated. Nobody was pressuring me into an arranged marriage anymore, so I just did what I wanted.”

  “I see,” I never realized that my adopted brother's death could have also effected my sister's marriage. “But then you met Shuro right?” I asked.

  “Not straight away. Keigo and I got back together and we were going to get married. Until, until, until he left me for that bitch!” She tore the shirt she was holding in half.

  I stared in shock. It was a painful reminder not to mess with Sis. I thought she was scary before, but after learning about her secret exorcist powers I made sure not to make her angry. I had no idea when she was going to pull them out.

  “Hey Sis there's no need to stress out,” I said nervously. “If you'd stayed together you wouldn't have Shuro and Hikaru.”

  “Yes, yes you're right.” She folded up the shirt and attempted to regain her composure. “But he said that we'd be together forever!”

  Sis then began lamenting about how her old fiance left her for a busty tramp. I was just glad Shuro wasn't there. I wasn't sure how he'd take it, but he may have already heard the whole story. My sister then spent an hour crying on my shoulder and I had to supply her with tissues. I decided that it probably wasn't a good idea to ever bring up her past relationships. As strong as Sis seemed there were certain topics which quickly sent her into a mass of tears. I can only hope that she won't be that way about my death.

  Chapter 16

  My conversation with Sis made me think about my parents, or my lack of them. I could still clearly remember how the wolf Obake looked me in the eyes and said “you're face looks familiar, have I tried to kill you before?”

  It was highly possible that he may have gotten into a fight with one of my real parents or relatives.

  I never told anyone this before, but I often thought about my parents. Well not so much thought because I couldn't remember them, it was more like I would imagine what they could have been like.

  There were times when Sis would punish me for misbehaving, and I would daydream that my parents were millionaires living on an exotic island. They were still searching for their long-lost son who had been taken away in a freak boating accident. Then one day they would appear on the door step to collect me and take me back to their mansion.

  If my parents were also exorcists it would explain why I had such high spiritual powers. Taisei once told me that only people from certain families had the potential to be exorcists.

  I decided to explain the situation to Akito, because he seemed to be the one with all the exorcist connections.

  “Yes it's quite possible that your parents were exorcists,” said Akito. “I'll have to contact the other branches all over Japan, but I'll see if there were any exorcists matching your description, but,” he paused. “There's also the chance that we might not find anything, you should prepare yourself for that.”

  “I know,” I said. “I'm already used to knowing nothing.” It was true that I didn't want to disappoint myself, but I didn't think it would hurt to do a little investigating.

  The only positive thing about the wolf attack was that Akito finally decided to step up my training. Instead of researching Obake and writing compositions, I had to sit on a rock outside and meditate. Akito made me do it for hours, and claimed that it was designed to help bring out my hidden potential, but the only thing it brought out was the pain in my butt.

  “I don't see why I have to meditate so much when all I have to do is squint and the paper goes up in flames,” I complained.

  “That's only the preliminary step,” said Akito. “Unless you gain more concentration you're never going to improve. You want to be on the same level as Itsuki, correct?”

  Akito must have known me well, since dropping Itsuki's name was enough to get me fired up and motivated, for the first hour. After that I began falling asleep. Akito must have anticipated that I would do so, and would occasionally walk past with a bamboo pole and whack me if I appeared to be dozing off. I began to wonder if it was my punishment for saying that I didn't want to do research anymore.

  I thought my constant endurance on the rock may have finally paid off when I arrived at headquarters to find Akito dressed up in strange purple robes. I wondered if it was some special occasion, like an Obake hunter conference.

  “Here, carry this,” he said while placing a large duffel bag before me.

  “Where are we going?” I asked while wondering if Akito had found a bigger rock for me to sit on.

  “It's part of your training,” he said. Akito pulled open a draw and began packing small objects into another bag. I caught a glance of a cross and a small glass bottle of water.

  “Are we going on a trip? Like a hardcore training trip up a mountain to fight wild boars, or crazy Obake, and then I get left alone to fend for myself for weeks while some crazy guy in a mask attacks me.” It was the plot of the recent comic book I'd been reading and I thought it sounded exciting.

  “No,” he said while looking at me stunned. “Why on earth would anyone want to do that?”

  “Oh,” I slumped. I suddenly felt quite disappointed.

  “I'm sorry to disappoint you,” he said after glancing at my gloomy expression. “But we're only going on an exorcism.”

  “An exorcism? Are you serious, like a real live exorcism?”

  “Yes, something along those lines,” he said.

  “Yes! Finally!” I was virtually bouncing off the walls until Akito scolded me.

  “Daisuke, you need to calm down right now and carry these bags!”

  * * *

  What followed was the most disappointing three hours of my life. I don't know what I must have done in a past life if I already had the misfortune of loosing my parents, not being tall, and then landing a mentor like Akito.

  When Akito said exorcism, I assumed he meant giant animal monsters which could take a man's head off. Unfortunately for me what Akito actually meant was that we were going to an exorcism, also known as the type where we dress up as priests and attempt to exorcise nonexistent ghosts. What happened that day probably isn't relevant to the tale of my untimely demise, but I wanted to tell you more of the suffering which Akito often subjected me to.

  I sighed and gazed around the sitting room of an eighty year old woman. I was hoping there would be something lying around which would ease my boredom, but I could see nothing more than old photographs and fraying furniture which reeked of mothballs. There was nothing particularly odd about the sitting room, except the giant framed picture of an obese ginger tabby which adorned the shrine altar. My mentor Akito (dressed head to toe in his priest outfit) sat on his knees before it solemnly praying.

  “Fluffy we bid thee a peaceful departure into the afterlife,” he said. “Mrs Tanaka is humbly sorry that she neglected your welfare and left you to freeze in the snow that fateful February afternoon. We hope that you can overcome your grudges in the physical world and make a peaceful transition into the feline afterlife. ”

  I felt like he was making most of it up off the top of his head, and I had to prevent myself from dissolving into a puddle of hysterics. I also had to wave a wooden pole and sprinkle water (apparently holy) all over the house. It was some strange mix of eastern and western exorcisms, and it wouldn't have surprised me if Akito got all his ideas from horror movies.

  “Cat begone! Cat begone!” Akito shouted into the corridors of the old woman's home.

  I didn't think it was possible for anyone to believe the crap which was coming out of his mouth, but the woman sat their solemnly throughout the c
eremony and handed over a large stack of bills at the end. I stared with my mouth open.

  “Wow! That has to at least be thre-” and that's when Akito elbowed me in the stomach.

  “I sense that Mr Fluffy has finally become at peace and made the journey onto the next world,” said Akito seriously without giving away any hint of the ridiculousness of his words. “Even my assistant was deeply moved by the relationship between you and your cat,” he said in reference to the time when I began shaking uncontrollably in an effort to suppress my laughter. If I was her I would have kicked Akito out of my house, by Mrs Tanaka sat there quietly, nodded her head, and began dabbing the tears away from her eyes with a handkerchief.

  To me it all seemed like a con, and that poor old woman had given us her money for doing nothing. I decided to question Akito about his morals once we were safely out of there and seated on the train.

  “Isn't it a bit misleading to take her money for doing nothing?” I asked.

  “We're not doing nothing,” hissed Akito as he looked around frantically to see if anyone had heard. “The money from today will go to the exorcist organization, which goes towards protecting this town from Obake. So you could say that we did help her, and besides, it is possible for vengeful spirits to later manifest into Obake somewhere down the line.”